Don't let me go
by Brave-little-duck
Summary: "Don't let me go."- Never say never, The Fray. NO SLASH just bromance, Re-post :) ONE-SHOT


**A/N: I know I should probably update All to make you love me... but i'm having writers block with this chapter I'm on so yeah. This story has a reference to one of my other stories but you don't need to read it to read this. Enjoy!**

**oh yeah! Who else bought 24/ Seven? I DID!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or anything that sounds like a Mary Chapin Carpenter song... (:**

* * *

"Attention passengers please fasten your seat belts and prepare for our landing. We should be landing in Minnesota soon." The Pilot said over the speakers.

I looked out my small window from my seat on the plane. I was almost home. It was so close I could practically taste it. I sighed deeply in relief. It seemed so unreal.

The last two years had not been easy on me. Being overseas and fighting in the Army was a lot tougher than I thought it would be. I didn't realize how hard it was being in the army until I actually got to that point. Of course I had made friends and all that, but I was surprised how much I missed being back home in Minnesota.

When the band ended, Carlos, Kendall, Me and Logan all decided it would be good for us to go back to Minnesota. That way we could be closer to our families and still be close to each other. At first, the guys thought that I was planning on staying in L.A to go solo. Which I had honestly thought about doing. But they were wrong. Almost immediately after we finished up Big Time Rush, I started considering registering for the Army.

I had always been very fit and active, plus I had always thought about joining when I was younger if my music hadn't gone anywhere. When I brought it up with my parents, they were very surprised. But they supported my decision, which was all that mattered.

I still remember how my friends reacted when I told them my plan.

* * *

"_H-hey guys, c-can we talk. There's something I n-need to tell you." I stuttered out. I was so nervous about telling them, I didn't have a clue how they would react to the news. I just hoped they took it well._

"_Sure James, what's up?" Kendall asked me._

"_Why don't you sit down, this might be hard to take." The guys did as I asked of them._

"_What's going on James?" Logan asked._

"_You're not dying are you?" Carlos asked, his eyes filling with worry._

_I chuckled at my small friend. "No, Carlitos, I'm not dying. It's something else."_

"_Well then out with it Diamond." Kendall said._

_I took a deep breath before speaking. "I-I've joined t-the Army." I told them quietly._

_Neither of them said anything. They just sat there looking at me. I thought they hated me for it. I thought they'd never want to see me again after I left._

"_Someone please say something."_

"_When did you decide," Logan whispered. "You know, that you wanted to do this."_

"_About two months ago, I signed up last week." I told him._

"_Where are you going…? I mean where will you be while you're overseas?" Carlos asked me in a small voice._

"_I'm not sure, most likely Iran or Afghanistan. I'm still waiting for the letter that tells me where I'll be stationed."_

_Everything in the room had gone stiff, with silence you could cut with a knife that would feel just like a blade held at your throat. I hated feeling like I did to my friends._

"_Look I understand if you guys are mad. But I feel like this is something I need to do. Not just for our country, but for myself."_

"_We're not mad, James. Just …very surprised." Logan said. He looked like he was about to cry._

"_Really? You're not mad."_

"_Yeah," Carlos chimed in. "We can't get mad at you just because you want to serve our country."_

_I smiled widely at my friends. I was glad that they were taking it so well. It was then I realized a certain blonde in the room had yet to say something about this._

"_What about you?" I asked looking right at Kendall. "You haven't said anything."_

_Kendall looked up at me with a sad expression on his face. He tears in his eyes that were threatening to pour down his face. _

"_When do you leave?" He choked out._

"_In about a month… right before my birthday. Some present huh?" I chuckled, but Kendall didn't even smile. _

"_Part of me wants to tell you that you can't go and say should stay here with us. That way we'd always know you're safe." Kendall said hesitantly. "But the other part of me knows that I can't make you stay, and that I'd be an asshole for keeping you from fighting for what you believe in."_

"_Look, I know you guys probably don't like this, but I really feel like I should do this." I told my friends. I knew inside of me somehow that I had to do this._

"_Well," Kendall said looking at all of us. "That means we have less than a month to do everything you've ever wanted. So…what do you want to first?"_

* * *

That last month before I left for Afghanistan was absolutely amazing. The four of us did nearly everything on my bucket list. I don't think I've ever had so much fun in my life.

The day before I left was hard for all of us. Everyone knew what the next day would bring. The guys and I decided to have one last sleepover before I was shipped off. It was fun. Like normal we tried pulling an all-nighter, but Logan and Carlos fell asleep while we were watching a movie. Kendall and I had a conversation after the movie that I don't think I'll ever forget.

* * *

"_Are you scared?" Kendall asked me._

"_Try terrified." I've never been so afraid that I'd leave and never come back for some reason. I could only imagine how my friends felt._

"_I'm scared for you." He said quietly._

_I looked at him sharply surprised. "You? Afraid? The unstoppable Kendall Knight, is afraid?" I laughed a little._

"_Laugh all you want, Jay, but I'm serious. I'm honestly afraid that I may never see you again after tomorrow. It scares me to think that while you're out there something will go wrong and you'll get hurt and I won't be able to save you. Like you'll be out there dying and I can't do anything about it."_

"_Oh," I said "I didn't think about it like that. I'm sorry."_

"_It's okay. Just… promise that you'll try to come home, please?" he pleaded._

"_I promise."_

* * *

A rumbling feeling shook me out of my thoughts and I realized that we were landing. Home. I was finally back at home. I grabbed my bags and got off the plane as quickly as I could. Once I got off the plane. I realized I didn't have ride home. I hadn't told anyone I was coming home early. I pulled out my phone and called Carlos. After a few rings he finally answered.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey Carlos, it's me."

"_James? Is that you?"_

"Yes, 'Los it's me. I came home early. Can you come pick me up from the airport? I didn't tell anyone I was coming home yet."

"_Yeah, of course, I'll be right there."_ The excited Latino exclaimed. _"I've really missed you James."_

"I missed you too Carlos. See you soon." I told him as I hung up.

An hour later I spotted him wandering aimlessly around the airport. I couldn't help but chuckle at my friend who still had no sense of direction.

"You'd think that after two years you would've finally learned how to find your way around huh Carlitos?" I yelled at him.

He turned around sharply and saw me. He grinned widely and ran towards me.

"JAMES!" he shouted in my ear. "You're back! You're finally back!" He said giving me a bone crushing hug.

"Carlos I can't breathe." He then let go of me. "How have you been? How's life?"

"Good, I'm good." He said walking towards the entrance. "C'mon Logan's waiting for us in the car."

"Wait what?"

"Yeah, he gave me a ride. Don't worry I didn't tell him or Kendall for that matter. He's gonna be so excited."

"Who?" I asked. "Kendall? Why?"

Carlos looked at me strange. "You've got to be kidding." He chuckled.

I shook my head.

"You do know what day it is, don't you?"

"No I honestly don't. You lose track after a while when you're… fighting."

Carlos laughed some more which only made me more confused than I was before.

"What's so funny?" I asked him.

"Tomorrow is Kendall's birthday."

"Oh my god I'm such an idiot." I muttered putting my head back.

"C'mon lets go see Logan." He said.

We walked out of the airport to see Logan parked right out front. He was standing in front of the car with his arms crossed in front of his chest. He didn't look very happy.

"Where have you been?" he huffed angrily. I've been waiting here like a loser for twenty minutes. Not to mention you di-" Logan spotted me and immediately stopped talking.

"Hey Logan." I said.

"Hey James."

He walked towards me and wrapped his arms around me in tight hug. I hugged him back. He pulled away after a minute looking completely speechless and confused.

"Wh-what are you doing here? You're not supposed to be back for like another month." Logan proclaimed. I don't think I've ever seen him so surprised.

"I was able to leave early from base. I figured that me coming home randomly was good no matter what time of year it is."

"Sweet. Well we better get going Kendall's waiting."

We got into Logan's car and started making the drive back to town. Everything was almost exactly the same from when I left. It was like I never left. It felt so good to be back home again.

"Kendall's waiting for me and Logan back at his house," Carlos said from the front seat. "We had a sleepover planned for his birthday. But I think you may just be the best birthday present he's ever going to get from someone."

"I'd hope so."

We pulled up to Kendall's house in a matter of minutes. It was just like I remembered.

"Wait here," Logan said with a smile. "I'll go get Kendall." I got out of the car and grabbed my bags from the trunk I was almost done when I heard Kendall's voice.

"Why are we going outside? It's cold out here." Kendall whined.

I turned around to see my best friend standing on the front porch of his house. I couldn't help but smile because he hadn't changed a bit since I left. he had some stubble on his chin and had gotten some more muscle on his still lanky arms.

"Because we have a surprise for you." Logan said.

"No, I hate surprises, except for the time Jo surprised me at the Palm woods, but still. You know I don't like them."

"Just... trust us."

Logan then stepped out of the way and let Kendall see me. When he spotted me his jaw dropped. He looked like he had seen a ghost, but I knew he was happy to see me.

"Jay?" he whispered. I smiled at him. I hadn't been called that in years.

"Yeah," I told him "It's me."

I dropped my bags, walked up to him and hugged him as hard as I could. I felt his arms wrap around me and his body start to shake.

"No no don't cry Kendall. It's okay. I'm okay. I promise." I told him.

"I know... just don't let go. Please don't let me go."

"Never again."

* * *

**Don't you just love Bromance? :)**

**have a great day!**

**~B (NO more peace and love and stuff)**


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